The Dread Pirate Westley takes on Tom Delay

So the Hammer, wonderful humanitarian that he is, has weighed in on the Terry Schiavo case. 

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay of Texas said he would consider calling lawmakers back from their vacations to stop what he termed "medical terrorism."
Usually I try to be civil and reasonably polite on my blog. Not all the time, but more often than not. Tom Delay, Bill Frist, and the rest of those morons down in Washington DC have now officially been taken off the 'civil' list. No longer will I be polite when speaking about those jackasses. To wit, my imaginary discussion with Delay upon reading the quote above, where I channel my inner Westley:

Tom, you ignorant slut. And I mean every word of that with complete sincerity. "Medical terrorism?" Do you have any idea just how galactically stupid you are? No, of course not. Well, I'll explain it, and I'll use small words, so you'll be sure to understand, you wart-hog faced buffoon.

In spite of the way George W Bush obtained reelection by shouting 'terrorism' at the top of his lungs, you really can't win every political argument by accusing your opponent of either being soft on terror, or being terrorists themselves. Don't believe me? Well, pig, I can see how we, the American public, might have misled you on the subject. 

After all, when Education Secretary Rod Page called the NEA (that's a teachers' union, you lackwit) a 'terrorist organization,' we basically let it go. And it's certainly true that most American voters really aren't very bright, so I can see how even a low grade moron like yourself, brainless and idiotic as you are, could start to feel superior. 

Just one problem, you miserable vomitous mass: even the dumbest voter knows exactly what you're up to this time. Do you think we're going to forget your minor ethical challenges, you sleazy, worthless scumbag? In your tiny little brain, do you imagine that if you rile up the right-to-life crowd enough, nobody will notice that you only believe in the rights of those who are either giving you money or giving you power? Don't you think, which is probably giving you way too much credit already, that maybe a medical case that's been ongoing for 12 years, and a legal case that has been ruled on by every conceivable Florida court for the past 7 years, as well as a point-blank refusal to consider appeals by the US Supreme Court just this year, might possibly have received due process? 

If you could tear yourself away from illegally and unethically redistricting Texas to advance your own political agenda at the expense of your consituents, you disgusting excuse for a human being - you complete and utter waste of oxygen - you living, breathing embodiment of everything that is wrong with the world today, it's just barely possible that you might realize how inappropriate it is to compare any part of that process to terrorism. No, never mind - it's inconceivable. And yes, that word means exactly what I think it means, you pitifully dim and yet mind-blowingly arrogant fool.